Kink Academy Special Sale Starts Today! Don’t miss out!

Has it been awhile since you’ve checked Kink Academy Out?

Because there’s a lot that’s been improved during our redesign:

  • Faster speeds: We’ve moved to new state-of-the-art servers so everything loads and plays more smoothly.
  • Complete Video Series: Not everything fits in one video. We made it easy to watch them in sequence and cover subjects in depth.
  • Better indexing so you can find what you want, when you need it: Got a hot date and want to brush up on some techniques? Expert kinky instructors are just a quick search away!
  • We’ve added 40 new clips to the free page! There’s now more than 200 videos for free!
  • Best of all, we’ve added 550 of our most popular PassionateU videos to KinkAcademy.com

That’s right. Five-Hundred and Fifty.

We’ve added 550 new videos to the mix, including ones like “Sex Like a Porn Star” and Graydancer and Naiia’s “Receiving Blowjobs Gracefully” series (which you won’t find anywhere else). Plus 15 new-to-Kink Academy experts such as

  • Dr. Jenn
  • Ashley Manta
  • Ducky Doolittle
  • Andre Shakti
  • Kim Airs, 
  • Jacq Jones
  • Ducky Doolittle
  • Rain DeGrey
  • Patti Britton
  • Bettie Rage 

..and more. PassionateU.com has always had a focus on sex, but for a lot of people that overlaps quite nicely into kink. There are fifteen brand new educators on Kink Academy now, talking about how you can have better sex and better kink. It’s available 24/7, on computers, tablets, and mobile apps.

To make it even more enticing,
we’re offering a special price starting today:

$49 for 6 months or $99 for a year

That’s less than $9 a month for easy access
to the best sex advice and kink instruction available online.

But it’s not going to last forever – only a week!
This sale ends on the 25th of September.
Act now and lock in this Celebration Price!

Personal Responsibility and Consent in the Kink Community

Some critiques of "yes means yes" is that it over-simplifies the many complexities of consensual adult interactions in kink and sex.

“Yes means Yes” is one of many slogans designed to increase awareness around consent.

While the “Safe, Sane, and Consensual” slogan has served the kink community well, more and more people are preferring to include the concept of “personal responsibility”. Even outside of kink people choose to do “unsafe” activities for fun – such as mountain biking – but the risk factor is reduced by taking simple personal precautions: a helmet. Looking at the route beforehand. Biking with a buddy, especially one who is more experienced. This keeps both the thrill and the biker alive.

How does a personally responsible kinkster act? That’s most likely an individual choice, but here are some videos about negotiation, consent, and community that can provide some useful tools.

The overarching theme that differentiates kink from abuse, of course, is consent. A ”community of consent” is described by Dr. Jill Weinberg in a free video lecture. It’s a long lecture, but that’s because, as Dr. Weinberg says, “Defining consent is difficult because our “general consensus” definition of consent is nothing more than intuition…It is easier to discern what consent is not than to determine what consent is.” In fact, in the kink community, with the emphasis on negotiation, boundaries, and community involvement, consent issues are perhaps more clear-cut than in everyday life – but they can still be complex. How can individuals work together to create a community that reduces the risk of consent violations?

Understanding basic dungeon do’s and don’ts is one place to start. Many of these are the same as the things one learns in kindergarten: don’t touch other people or their things without asking. Talk nicely. Clean up after you’re done playing. Mollena Williams and Lee Harrington, the authors of “Playing Well With Others”, give a broad outline of general behaviors, but it’s important to remember that individual places have different rules. For example, at a particular party at the Center for Sex Positive Culture in Seattle, they introduced a red wristband for people who did not want to be approached for play. Unfortunately the protocol wasn’t well-understood or respected and people who wore it were propositioned. Is this rudeness? Ignorance? Or predatory behavior? It’s likely that with more community education and emphasis the red band could become as ubiquitous as “SSC”.

Some aspects of consent are different for men than women, Harold Henry explains in his video, due to the cultural stereotypes and roles. Instead of trying to be the “Mr. Grey” type of dominant in the hopes of attracting a submissive, he recommends the opposite: “Clear and honest communication are key. Being the kind of pushy predator that the mainstream media promotes won’t get you anywhere.” While it’s not specific to male-bodied kinksters, this is part of the very important concept that personal responsibility is more than keeping yourself safe from aggressors – it’s also about educating yourself on how not to be an aggressor in the first place.

It is important to remember that there’s a difference between “assertive” and “aggressive”. Another common stereotype is that the top or dominant player has to lead the negotiations. Shay has a whole list of assertive negotiation tips for submissives that are the epitome of personal responsibility. It’s entirely possible to both be submissive and ask for what you want and need in any kind of play.

Part of personal responsibility is understanding what your own personal needs are, and that’s why The Control Enthusiast and Graydancer have several videos specifically tailored to rope negotiation. All too often negotiations are limited to medical issues and sexual contact – which are important, but which miss the broader spectrum of possibilities in a scene. How are you hoping to feel during this scene? How do you want to feel afterwards? Even more usually forgotten: how do you want your partner to feel?

The first encounter with a potential partner can set the tone of an entire relationship, and Kitty Stryker – a well-known advocate for improving consent in the community – talks about how the kinds of words you use are important, as well as being indicators of how your potential partner views consent. It’s important to remember that as a top or a bottom there is no obligation to continue a negotiation if your gut tells you that things are not what you’re looking for. That doesn’t mean that the other person is bad, necessarily – it just means that they and you respect your instincts and desires. Learning how to gracefully accept a “no” is a great skill to develop in negotiation.

It’s important to remember is that personal responsibility is a continually ongoing process of being in touch with yourself, your partner, and improving your ability to create consensual play. It’s not a destination, it’s a journey, and we at Kink Academy hope that these experts can help you enjoy yours more.

Originally posted on KinkAcademy.com

3 Ways to Use Kink Academy for Hotter Play

front-kaOK, we’ve gone over the many reasons Kink Academy is one of the best places on the web to learn about hot BDSM and sex with explicit video created by world-class instructors. That’s a given, and if the previous newsletters, blogs, and the site itself doesn’t convince you of that, nothing will.

But we believe it’s more than just an information site. We’ve come up with at least three ways you can use Kink Academy to “hack” your kink – that is, improve that thing you already love to do. All three of them are things that we’ve done ourselves, so we know they work.

1. Kink Academy is Your Wingman. Picture it: you have a hot date planned with That Special Someone that you’ve been lusting after forever. You know they like rope, you know they like caning, and you know they like wax – but it’s been a while since you’ve held an English cane, and you’ve never combined rope and wax before. No worries! As those links prove, Kink Academy has your back – with clear demonstrations of techniques, advice on what to do if something goes wrong, and more. You can brush up on that complicated harness or practice your dirty talk before the date and make it even more likely to impress your playmate.

2. Choose Your Own KinkVenture. Big kink conferences like to brag about the many presenters and classes they offer – and there are some really great ones. Most of them, in fact, put you into a predicament: so many good classes, so little time. The thing is, Kink Academy has many of those “big name” presenters on the site. This gives you the chance to “preview” the presenter – sometimes even the same class they’re giving at the con – and see if you like their style. It can also help you prepare for classes by giving you background material – for example, Topologist used some of his Kink Academy videos to pre-qualify people for one of his advanced classes at the recent ROPECRAFT event.

  • This is a good place to note: Kink Academy was created by Princess Kali and several other educators who also present at conferences. We’re not saying that the videos are a replacement for going to those classes. Rather, we think of it as a supplement, a different form of kink education. You can’t get an immediate answer to a question from a video – but on the other hand, it’s not that easy to have Lee Harrington in your living room, either.

3. Deeper Kink Understanding. Another dilemma at conferences is the limitations of time – most classes can last at most two hours, and usually they’re shorter. As any presenter will tell you, that’s usually just enough time to begin to cover a subject. But with a Kink Academy membership you can continue the learning and exploration after the convention. You can see keynote speeches, delve into academic presentations on the Therapeutic Benefits of Subspace, or just pick up some extra exercises to make your next oral sex that much hotter. In a lot of ways Kink Academy provides you with the “DVD Extras” to your BDSM experience, regardless of your level of experience.

Plus there is one killer feature that you can only find online: the ability to pause, rewind, and play your favorite presenters again and again! With hundreds of videos on dozens of topics and the most diverse cast of instructors anywhere, we’re pretty proud of the site, and we’re confident it can enrich your kink life in all of these ways. As you can see below, we’re also always working on ways to improve the site experience making it even easier to get the content to you.

But there’s certainly some things we’ve left out – how has Kink Academy helped you get your perv on? Let us know!