It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…” Hi. I’m Gray Miller, sometimes known as “Graydancer”, and I work at Kink Academy.

Those words from Dickens have really resonated with me here at Kink Academy the last couple of months.

It’s been the best of times because we have been working with a brilliant freelance designer (the same one who revamped our sister site, PassionateU) to bring a facelift to Kink Academy. The site is five years old, and we are immensely proud of what we’ve built…but in internet years, that’s, like, FOREVER. We did market research, we asked our members (and those we hoped would be members) what they wanted, and we made it happen.

With change comes pain, though, and that can be “the worst of times”.

Let me break it down for you: Kink Academy is not, as you may picture, an office suite with spiffy leather-furnished offices, a coffee boi named Chris bringing perfect espressos to our high-intensity strategy meetings before we go to relax in our exercise center-cum-dungeon.

Ha. We wish! Kink Academy is mainly Princess Kali, the founder, owner and visionary guiding our direction from the Bay Area in California, and myself, working here in the Bondage Capital of the World, Madison, WI. We are lucky enough to have the occasional help of DoNotGoGently, a leatherwoman from Pittsburgh and other members and allies who do what they can.

Simply put, we’re a small business run by kinksters for kinksters. And like most entrepreneurs, we run into troubles once in a while.

For example:

The upgrade to the videos on the site? That ended up turning them all off for a few hours. To quote Monty Python: “We got better.”

We upgraded our payment processing system and it promptly broke, for no reason we could easily find. Then it worked again, but only for new customers. Our efforts to fix it triggered an audit by our processor company (who we LOVE because they did it fast and pretty painlessly). Finally we fixed it for legacy members, but found out that people who’d been members and wanted to re-subscribe couldn’t.

All of this was bad, because literally people were begging to give us money and we couldn’t take it!  That’s fixed now, too, much to the relief of our landlords. In fact, the only remaining problem has to do with hotmail (if you have hotmail and want to subscribe, contact me, ok?).

During those troubles our customers were AMAZINGLY patient. While we’re privileged to be able to make a living helping kinksters have more and better sex, we sure aren’t rich doing it, and so the support of our members really helped us make it through. Like most entrepreneurs, we suffer from the curse of believing strongly in what we do, at the cost of the salaries we could be making doing the same type of work in a less controversial field.

It was the worst and the best of times, and there was one thing in particular that drove that home for me. As part of the upgrade, I had to go through and re-code every video post on Kink Academy by hand. That’s over a thousand entries, from the first with Jay Wiseman, Megan Andelloux, and others through the most recent ones with Mistrix, Topologist, Mistress Servalan, and…well, the list goes on for an embarrassingly long time. We’ve been so fortunate to work with so many great teachers, to pay them for their knowledge and time, and bring them on as affiliates so that your memberships continue to bring them money! How awesome is that?

That’s what went through my head as I did the tedious coding: “This is AWESOME. A huge library of kink knowledge, history, techniques…” I’ve looked, and I challenge you to find a more broad and diverse source of quality kink learning on the web. Seriously, I do, because maybe I’m biased. I see other resource sites, and I’ve contributed to them. But the Kink Academy is unique in my experience.

Now the growing pains are over, and the site is beautiful, clean, and sexy. We have a collection of free videos, we have regular blog posts, and for our members, amazing premium content, updated five times a week with new videos covering every kink we can legally manage.

We have tools you can use to create your own personalized playlist, picking out just the videos that you want from the teachers who speak to your kink specifically. It’s like having the ability to create your own kinky convention tailored just for you and your partner(s).

You can comment directly on the videos, and often the presenters reply directly to you. All the entries are tagged and categorized so that you can find your favorite kink or explore new ones for as long as you want, 24/7, all year around, on your computer, your tablet, your phone, alone or with friends.

I’ll be honest with you: Kali and I go to these cons, and we see people willing to pay hundreds of dollars for whips and the like – but unwilling to pay a fraction of that to learn how to use it. It’s strange, it is. A year’s membership costs less than a good flogger. Costs less than most conventions you’d attend to see the same presenters give one class – and we have hundreds of classes, available whenever you want.

We are immensely grateful for the people who have helped make Kink Academy what it is today. We want to continue to be part of your community, and to do that, we need your help. Try us out for a month – that’s hours of explicit kink education for the cost of a couple of movie tickets. Become a regular member, it’s even less. Three months of membership is less than a night out on the town!

If you’ve ever thought “Yeah, I’ve heard about the Kink Academy…” and been inclined to try it: we need you NOW. If you are looking for that great holiday gift, WE ARE IT.

If you know of a friend/crush/lust object who maybe could benefit from some kink instruction, D/s theory, leather history, or just plain hot sexy videos that engage mind and body…now is the time.

Just click below, and see what we’ve worked so hard to bring to you and your kink. Mentioned in ‘Cosmopolitan for Latinas’!!

Sitting at a friends’ table one night while I was staying her house over night, I clicked to refresh Twitter while we were talking. There was the tweet. Featured in Cosmo for Latinas!

So I clicked the link.

Reading through the article I started to get excited, it was about the popularity of dominant and submissive fantasies and it was encouraging readers to give it a try.

Then, the second to last paragraph, I saw it…

“Not ready to go full on leather mask and ball gag? Try a few different scenarios to ease your way into it. “You can go to BDSM websites and watch educational videos where people do demonstrations,” suggests Dr. Chaves., a site dedicated to providing sex education on topics like BDSM, has over 1,000 instructional videos by experts in the field that show you what to expect.”

Yes! on the printed page of a Cosmo magazine! I grew up reading Cosmo magazines and while I haven’t always agreed with their advice, it is an iconic source of sexy info for women. And there was MY creation, described so perfectly on the page!

Since the inception of Kink Academy I have dreamed of helping normalize kinky sex. I’ve dreamed of being recommended in mainstream outlets as a reliable resource for learning about all aspects of sexuality. While that dream has been slowly coming true over the last few years, this is an especially exciting moment in Kink Academy history!

I am simply pleased as punch (as my mother would say J) and I look forward to many more mentions in Cosmo magazine as well as many of the other magazines offering any kind of sex advice!

Thank you to @Hernando_Chaves & @RachelKhona and of course @CosmoForLatinas!!! needs your help!

I’ve had a number of inquiries about helping out with, but very little follow through. SO here it is…

BaSE is a really cool site and could grow into an incredibly in-depth resource the same as Kink Academy has. But it needs your help. I’ve built the site (well, I had my awesome freelance web-designer build the site) in a way that can be really useful.

That is, if it’s used.

If you’re interested in being a community leader, this is a chance for you to do exactly that. If you have the drive to be a contributing member of our community then use this opportunity to gain experience, build a reputation as a go-getting and help create a safe, inspiring space from the ground up.

How do you do this awesome thing I’m sure you are now asking yourself?! Just DO IT!! So often people wait for instructions, wait for specific and exact to-do lists handed over as a step by step guide. But the best leaders, the most passionate and worthwhile community members just get out there and do it.

If you haven’t signed up for a free account on yet, do so. It’s really easy. Then start posting. Post articles, videos, opportunities…anything that would be helpful to fellow ‘sex geeks’. Be sure to give proper credit and be respectful of copyright. Tell your friends on social media about the cool new resource that’s being built and why they should want to be a part of it. Encourage others to join the conversation. Create conversation!

This is how community is built and it can start with you.  BE the first on the dance floor. BE the early adopter. Be the catalyst for a fresh new chance to collaborate, share and connect.